I've been in Rwanda for over 6 months now! One might say I'm over halfway through my time here. Well, I am over halfway through THIS year, but I'm not halfway through my time here. After a lot of time and thought and a LOT of prayer I have made a decision to commit to one more school year of teaching kindergarten here. This was not an easy choice, but through prayer and discussion, God has really shown me that this is what I am meant to do next year and where I am supposed to be. "Now Kelsey, how do you really know that next year will just as wonderful and you won't miss your friends and family like crazy?" Well I don't. I don't know what is in store for next year. I AM going to miss my friends and family like crazy. In fact I have a very hard time imagining being away from them for yet another year. And in fact, I don't know how I will afford teaching for another year without pay. But guess what... it's ok. God says I don't need to know what's coming, I don't need to stress about how I'll survive another year away from loved ones, I don't need to lose sleep over where money will come from to support another year, and I don't need to worry about it! Even saying this isn't easy. I don't know what another year in Africa will bring, but God does! The one who created me and everyone and everything knows! And He has a plan, not just a plan but THE BEST plan for my life. He knows the struggles I'll go through, HE will provide for me, HE will provide peace for my family at home in the states, HE will write my paychecks, HE will bring great things and lead me to further His kingdom. Which is really all I want to do!
We have a new superintendent/director for our school next year. She already is working at our school now, but will be taking this new position in the fall. She has been meeting with all the returning teachers to discuss the changes that are to be implemented next year. Before my meeting with her I was talking to a friend about what she might discuss in the meeting. My friend who already knew the new plans for next year mentioned that she had reviewed each teacher's prep time and there would be some big changes coming in that area. I also recently had received an email from a parent who's also on the school board. In the email she told me that at their last meeting they had looked at the number of "face time minutes" each teacher spent with their students. I was the "clear winner" with 500 more minutes a week with students then the top number for any secondary teacher.
So before even going in to my meeting with our new director, I was already excited (beyond excited really). I had no clue what changes she was making for next year or what she was doing about this new discovery of my work time. I didn't know anything about her plan, but I knew it would be good. I just trusted that she would make things better for next year.
Why can't we have that same kind of trust for the Lord's plan for us? If I can be "beyond excited" for someone's plans for me next year without knowing what they are, why can't I do the same for God's plans? He created me, He can give me anything I need if I follow Him. He wants to give me the best life possible if I let Him. But, somehow I'm not always beyond excited for His plans for my future, not in the same way I am for my school director's plans. It's funny how we can trust a person so easily and yet still question whether God really knows what He's doing. Of course He knows what He's doing!
I'm incredibly humbled by how much God has already revealed himself to me this year, how much He has provided for me, how much He has shown me of what He can do.
I do still have concerns of being away from home for another year, but one thing I know is that when God leads you somewhere, He doesn't just leave you there. I know He will provide for me just as He has been this whole year. And I know that with His plans, and my life in His hands, I have nothing to worry about.
God is so GOOD! (At this point, my students would start singing "Our God is an Awesome God") :)
You are one cool cat Miss Merz! and pretty darn inspiring. Thanks for being such a great example :-)
ReplyDeleteP.S. Hopefully we can get a banana split again sometime soon! <3
Hi Kelsey! Guess i haven't read your blogs for a while - had lots to catch up on since your post about Christmas and taking the boys for new shoes. Very humbling indeed.
ReplyDeleteYour Birthday video brought tears to my eyes, so I can only imagine what your Mom thought. Did you know your Mom's Birthday is the same day as my daughter, Angie's? How's that for coincidence!
So you are staying on another year. No doubt the decision was made prayerfully. You have grown so much and you have a good head on your shoulders. While not exactly the same thing, there were those who were concerned with Angie signed on for a second year with Royal Caribbean.
"We give our children wings so they may fly."
Some thought she should get a job locally and not be so isolated, so all alone. But as you know, "family" is more than those related to you by blood. Some of her best friends are on the other side of the planet. Miret came from Iceland to be in her wedding - and that was when the volcano (with the long name) had erupted in Iceland, closing airports on and off. See? We'd have never known Miret, Angie would have never had dinner at her Mother's house had she stayed home in Clarkston. And that is only one of the stories that make up the quilt of her life.
These friends you share your days with now will be close to you the rest of your life, and you to theirs. God lays open doors for many who are timid and shy and never see the wonder of the world He has laid at your feet. Who goes white-water rafting a class5 in Africa? Your own grandchildren will someday look at you in amazement!
"The perspective of a Mom" is to protect and nurture and always want our children near. That's a good thing, and it's why you care so much for your little kids in Africa. Bu you know they'll grow up, just as your Mom knew you would, too.
God has given you such an amazing opportunity, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and give you a future." He's that kind of a God :-)
Long letter today, but needed to take a moment to send you a little cash to help you through. od Bless YOU, Kelsey Merz!
"GOD" bless, not "od bless". Now I wonder if there is an African word "od", and if so, what it means? (other than, "Sherry, sometimes a typo is only a typo!")
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